Are You Judging Me?

I had the opportunity this past weekend to attend a conference for my church. It was made up of several meetings, but the one I most enjoyed occurred on Saturday evening and was open only to adults. This is always one of my favorite meetings. A leader in our church spoke about a woman that he had been called to serve, and that had been a burden in his life. She was needy, discouraged, depressed, and lonely. He shared some of her struggles and the ways in which he had been directed by God to bless her. He said that she taught him an important lesson: that the people around her had been made better for having served her. The struggles of our brothers and sisters can become opportunities for us to grow if we can learn to see it that way.

I squirmed in my seat a little during this talk, mostly because I was feeling humbled and chastised. I would consider myself to be outwardly kind, interested in those around me, and eager to help. But, at my very core, I can sometimes (frequently) be stingy, selfish, and harsh in my opinion of others. You might think that someone who had chosen social work as a profession and practiced it for the past 13 years might be more immune to such feelings, but guess again. I realize this is a part of us all, but I think that the Lord really wants to change it in me. In fact, I have felt nudged and reminded about it quite a bit lately. What exactly do I need to change? A few thoughts –

1.      Helping others, when I can, without murmuring about the time it’s taking away from other pursuits.

2.      Being open to fully empathize with other’s joys and challenges, without immediately seeking some connection to myself.

3.      Giving and expressing love freely, without thought of how it will be received or whether the other person “deserves it.”

There you have it – some new, lofty goals. Next time we have a conversation, and you see my eyes get a little narrow or glazed, be sure to ask: “Are you judging me?” and help me get back on track.