Now is not the time to start lamenting weight gain. There are no particular cravings. It's just a long list of favorite, ritualistic snacks: Honey Nut Cheerios, an English muffin with butter and honey, an orange, another orange? You get the picture. The snack list keeps growing and so do I. Let's hope the baby is using some of this nourishment and growing himself, because it will be embarrassing to pop out another tiny baby underneath all this girth.
This year has gotten off to a stressful start. Shawn's father and stepmother were involved in a serious car accident at the beginning of January. They are recovering, but it's going slowly and his father remains hospitalized. We have been doing our best to keep up with their bills and insurance claim needs, which is at least a part-time job. Selfishly, I have felt sad for the loss of Shawn's attention. He does his best and we have marvelous moments, but the guy can only be one place at a time. I am just hoping that at least some of this calms down before the baby is born, or I might have to go psycho-newborn-mom on someone.
Anna turned 6 the other day. I can't believe all that's happened in the years since her birth: two home purchases, a move to Oregon, adopting Leon, and those are just the extreme bullet points. It fills my heart with fear and a thrill to sit here and wonder what the next six years might entail. I do know this: kids are really unpredictable. I secretly pride myself on what a tight ship I run and that I KNOW how to keep my kids in line. My heart beats a little faster at the thought that the baby I carry might not fit so neatly into my well-disciplined package. Don't misunderstand. My kids are marvelous in public and worthy of execution at home. When you see us, we might appear to have all our ducks in a row. Please, baby, don't shatter the illusion. It's all I've got.
One last thing: PRAYER! I cling to it. It gives me hope when I feel the bleakest. Anna asked me the other day if Oprah was a real person. I said yes. She then asked if God loved Oprah. I said yes. She muttered, "Weird" under her breath and walked away. What a comfort to be able to tell my children that we do not have the answers to everything, but that we CAN pray about everything from the bully at school to the orphans in Haiti. I am so grateful to be a follower of Jesus Christ.
I said in a previous post that the baby's name would not be widely revealed until he was born. That was a lie. I've been telling it all over town. In case you haven't heard, it's Christian...spelled the Jesus way.
